


torrent texts

by Forestgreengirl



Series: Clone Wars Chatfics [1]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: 501st Shenanigans, BAMF CT-7567 | Rex, CT-27-5555 is a Little Shit, CT-5385 is a Little Shit, CT-7567 | Rex Needs a Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff, Group chat, Light Angst, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, They all need a hug, Trans Clones Rights, Tup is Baby, chatfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:27:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24718276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forestgreengirl/pseuds/Forestgreengirl
Summary: Fives adds some of the 501st to a group chat, a certain, 501st brand kind of chaos follows
Relationships: 501st Legion & CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CT-21-0408 | Echo & CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 & CT-7567 | Rex, CT-5597 | Jesse & CT-6116 | Kix, CT-7567 | Rex & CT-5385 | Tup, Hardcase & CT-5385 | Tup, There’s so many friendships man
Series: Clone Wars Chatfics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1787128
Comments: 49
Kudos: 398
Collections: Starwarschats





	1. Chapter 1

**[CT-5555 added CT-1409, CT-5597, CT-6116, CT-5385, CT-7567, CT-8008 to a ‘the best men’]**

_ CT-7567: Trooper. What is this? _

_ CT-1409: I DIDN'T KNOW YOUD ACTUALLY DO IT  _

_ CT-5555: YOU DARED ME TO  _

_ CT-7567: Troopers. _

_ CT-1409: Sorry, sir.  _

_ CT-5555: it’s a chat  _

_ CT-7567: yes I can see that  _

_ CT-7567: I’m asking why it was made _

_ CT-5555: …Echo dared me to? _

_ CT-1409: DON'T BLAME IT ON ME  _

**[CT-6116 changed their name to ‘Kix’]**

_ Kix: here we go  _

**[CT-5597 changed ‘Kix’ to ‘Kixy’]**

_ Kixy: JESSE  _

**[CT-5597 changes their name to Jesse]**

_ Jesse: sorry to interrupt, can we get rid of the numbers, it’s hurting my eyes  _

_ CT-7567: Yes. _

**[CT-7567 changed their name to ‘Rex’]**

**[Rex changed ‘CC-1409’ to ‘Trouble 1’]**

_ Trouble 1: SIR-  _

_ Jesse: who’s the second trouble  _

_ Kixy: is that a real question?  _

**[Rex changed ‘CT-5555’ to ‘Trouble 2]**

_ Trouble 2: WHY AM I THE SECOND ONE  _

_ Trouble 2: SIR !!!  _

_ Trouble 1: it’s because you’re younger then me  _

_ Trouble 2: IM NOT  _

_ Trouble 1: sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me being older  _

_ Kixy: it’s almost funny how quickly they forgot that there’s a commanding officer in here  _

_ Rex: It’s quite amusing.  _

_ Trouble 1: SORRY SIR  _

_ Trouble 2: Wahoo, sir  _

_ Jesse: at least he added the air?  _

_ Kixy: shut up  _

_ Jesse: no  _

_ CT-8008: what the fresh kriff is this  _

_ Trouble 2: THAT LANAUGE  _

_ Trouble 1: I literally heard you swear at a chair like 10 minutes ago  _

_ Trouble 2: you didn’t hear shit  _

_ CT-8008: ?????????????  _

_ Rex: Fives made a group chat  _

_ CT-8008: Oh heck yeah  _

**[CT-8008 changed their name to ‘On the case’]**

_ Kixy: sighs  _

_ Trouble 2: did you just,, spell out sighs  _

_ Kixy: perhaps  _

_ On the case: who else is here?? _

_ Trouble 2: Tup is here as well, but he hasn’t come online yet  _

_ Kixy: I don’t blame him  _

_ Trouble 2: RUDE _

_ Kixy: actually that reminds me  _

_ Kixy: Fives :) _

_ Trouble 1: ohoho  _

_ on the case: ohoho  _

_ Jesse: ohoho  _

_ Trouble 2: IT WASNT ME  _

_ Kixy: what wasn’t you? _

_ Trouble 2: uh  _

_ Trouble 2: nothing? _

_ Kixy: hm  _

_ Kixy: I was talking about why you haven’t been down to medbay yet  _

_ Kixy: but now I want to know what you’ve done  _

_ Rex: Fives go to medical _

_ Trouble 2: nothing’s wrong!!! I’m completely fine tho!!  _

_ Kixy: I saw you limping  _

_ Trouble 2: that just happens sometimes  _

_ Trouble 1: no it does not  _

_ Kixy: Echo you can’t judge, I know for a fact you’ve done something to your wrist  _

_ Trouble 2: oh he’s done something alright  _

_ Trouble 1: FIVES AHSHDJSJSJDN _

_ on the case: absbdbfbfbfnfnfnn _

_ Kixy: I’m ignoring you both _

_ Kixy: get your asses to medical  _

_ Trouble 1: we really don’t need to  _

_ Trouble 2: we’re Fine Kix  _

_ Rex: No _

_ Rex: little gods you’re as bad as the commanders at going to medical  _

_ Rex: hm I wasn’t supposed to say that _

_ Trouble 2: oh?????????????? _

_ on the case: owo?  _

_ Kixy: I hope you choke on your owo  _

_ on the case: MEAN  _

_ trouble 2: so hardcase and I have a question  _

_ Kix: oh no _

_ trouble 2: would it be effiecent if we were to just start throwing troopers into the droids  _

_ Trouble 2: it would kill the droids at least- _

_ Rex: we are Not throwing any of the men  _

_ Trouble 2: unless,, _

_ Rex: I can’t allow that _

_ Rex: but if it was just to happen in the middle of a battle, technically I couldn’t stop you because I didn’t know  _

_ Trouble 2: YESS _

_ oh the case: you’re the best sir  _

_ Rex: oh I know  _

_ CT-5385:,,,what is this  _

_ Trouble 2: Tup!  _

_ on the case: vod’ika!  _

_ CT-5385: uh hello! what is this? Dogma keeps looking at my weirdly for the beeping  _

_ Rex: Fives made a chat for some unknown reason _

_ CT-5385: oh! sir! sorry for sounding rude- _

_ Rex: you didn’t sound rude, you’re okay Tup _

_ on the case: we do need to change your nickname tho _

_ CT-5385: oh!!!  _

**[CT-5385 changed their name to ‘Tup’]**

_ Kixy: at least someone here as common sense :’)  _

_ Rex: oh?  _

_ Kixy: except you sir _

_ Jesse: traitor  _

_ Kixy: shut up your general buys you handguns instead of machine guns  _

_ Jesse: you take that BACK  _

_ Trouble 1: w- _

_ Trouble 2: what-  _

_ on the case: I do like that tho  _

_ Jesse: Kix and I made it up while we were on Kamino  _

_ Jesse: was a vibe  _

_ Jesse: not Kamino _

_ Jesse: the joke  _

_ Rex: I did assume that, yes  _

_ Rex: Hold on Cody is shouting again _

_ Trouble 1: a-again?? _

_ Tup: ,,oh no,,  _

_ Rex: It’s fine, he’s just pissy because he lost a bet with Wolffe  _

_ Trouble 2: so you know the commanders well??? _

_ Trouble 1: don't pry fives it’s rude  _

_ Rex: they practically raised me on Kamino lmao _

_ Jesse: oh shit rlly?? _

_ Rex: yeah  _

_ Trouble 2: what was commander Cody like on Kamino?? _

_ Rex: very angry  _

_ Rex: you never wanted to spar with Wolffe or Cody  _

_ Tup: why?  _

_ Kixy: I am Looking  _

_ Rex: because Cody kicks super kriffing hard n Wolffe bites people  _

_ Kixy: oh so they’re Feral feral  _

_ on the case: HSHSHSHSHD KIX  _

_ Kixy: am I WRONG? _

_ Rex: no that’s actually really accurate  _

_ Rex: terrible influences  _

_ Trouble 2: wow  _

_ Trouble 2: I feel like I have so much more respect for Commander Cody and Wolffe  _

_ Rex: never tell either of them that I told you that tho _

_ Rex: it’s a headache I do Not want  _

_ Jesse: same vibes as when I told Waxer that Kix once fell off his bunk onto the floor and stayed asleep _

_ Kixy: Jesse you absolute liar  _

_ Trouble 2: oh my god  _

_ on the case: HOW  _

_ Tup:,, it’s almost impressive  _

_ Jesse: oops  _

_ Jesse: at least I didn’t tell them about the time you got drunk and cried over a tooka  _

_ Rex: Jesse he’s going to kill you  _

_ Jesse: not in any way that matters  _

_ Kixy: I’m going to snap your bones like glow sticks _

_ Trouble 2: glow for us, bone boy  _

_ on the case: DBDBBDBDBDBD  _

_ Tup: how is this so chaotic already,, _

_ Rex: welcome to the 501st _

_ on the case: enjoy the chaos vod’ika  _

_ Tup: oh I am _

_ Tup: dogma is looking more and more annoyed with the buzzing-  _

_ Kixy: me too dogma  _

_ Jesse: mute it then dumbass  _

_ Kixy: kriff off  _

  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex is the ultimate big brother, Kix Never Sleeps, and Tup somehow gets a gun stuck in his hair

_ Trouble 2: heyyyyyy Kix _

_ Kixy: oh here we go  _

_ Trouble 2: 1. MEAN  _

__

_ Trouble 2: 2. Why did I walk into the medbay and just see you staring at the wall  _

_ Trouble 2: you didn’t even respond when I talked  _

_ Jesse: oh my gods  _

_ on the case: bsbdbbdvdhdjdj _

_ Kixy: I was asleep _

_ Trouble 2: your eyes were open  _

_ Kixy: I was keeping an eye on things  _

_ Jesse: HSBEHDHDHDN _

_ Rex: Kix when was the last time you slept??  _

_ Kixy: I just told you  _

_ Rex: Proper sleeping  _

_ Kixy: I have slept a good amount of time  _

_ Rex: vod’ika.  _

_ Trouble 2: rip Kix  _

_ Trouble 1: he’ll be dearly missed  _

_ Kixy: stop telling everyone I’m dead _

_ Trouble 2: sometimes I can still hear his voice  _

_ Rex: don't think you can escape that easy Kix  _

_ Kixy: Sorry I don’t speak Basic  _

_ Jesse: I do tho  _

_ Jesse: open the mf door Kix  _

_ Kixy: huhsbwvwhshsjdjfn _

_ on the case: oh no Jesse killed him _

_ Jesse: Kix will be back in a few hours :) _

_ Tup:,, sometimes I forget how scary Jesse can be  _

_ on the case: Jesse is an absolute softy, don’t let him fool you vod’ika  _

_ Trouble 2: oh that reminds me  _

**[Trouble 2 changed ‘Rex’ to ‘Captain ori’vod’]**

_ Captain ori’vod: Fives. _

_ Trouble 2: Am I Wrong sir  _

_ Captain ori’vod: smh  _

_ Tup: sir,,to,, be fair,,  _

_ Tup: most of the troopers have called you ori’vod before,, _

_ Trouble 2: except for you  _

_ on the case: yeah that’s true, we’ve straight up never heard you call Rex anything except captain & sir  _

_ Tup: he’s my commanding officer!!!  _

_ Trouble 2: which is funny because you’re baby  _

_ Tup: I am Not baby  _

_ Trouble 1: you’re literally the youngest of us  _

_ Tup: what about dogma?? _

_ on the case: he’s baby but like,, he’s not Baby  _

_ Tup: >:^(  _

_ Captain ori’vod: They’re right kid _

_ Tup: Buir no!  _

_ Tup: kriff oh no uh  _

_ Tup: oh look dogma is calling me bye  _

_ Trouble 2: that explains so much _

_ Jesse: why can I hear the Captain crying  _

_ Jesse: ah nvm  _

_ Captain ori’vod: ad’ika that still doesn’t change that you’re baby  _

_ Captain ori’vod: welcome back Jesse, hows Kix? _

_ Jesse: thanks sir, he’s still asleep _

_ Jesse: fucker needs to stop KICKING me in his sleep _

_ Trouble 2: oh so he’s like Echo _

_ Trouble 1: shut up  _

_ Trouble 2: I think it’s just an older brother thing  _

_ Captain ori’vod: It is  _

_ on the case: sometimes I forget that Echo is older than fives  _

_ trouble 1: heck yeah I am  _

_ Trouble 2: BY LIKE 3 MINUTES  _

_ Trouble 1: that’s still 3 minutes of superiority  _

_ Tup: y’all wilding  _

_ on the case: wb tup!! _

_ Rex: Welcome back Tup’ika  _

_ Tup: :’) _

_ Trouble 2: I just heard Tup shriek  _

**[Tup changed ‘Trouble 2’ to ‘snitch’]**

_ on the case: BDBDBWBSJDJD TUP  _

_ Jesse: wow tup rlly came for Fives’ life  _

_ snitch: UOURE SO MEAN TO MEEE _

_ Tup: that’s your problem  _

_ Rex: I’m so proud m _

_ Tup: (*^ω^*) _

_ snitch: horrible baby _

_ Tup: I’m not baby smh _

_ Captain ori’vod: Yes you are _

_ Tup:,,maybe I am baby （╹◡╹）♡ _

_ on the case: Rex’s power,, _

**[snitch changed ‘Tup’ to ‘Tup’ika’]**

_ Tup’ika: horrid but I’ll let it stay  _

_ Tup’ika: also _

_ Tup’ika: not to bother anyone but  _

_ Captain Ori’vod: you’re not bothering anyone  _

_ Tup’ika: does something feel like coming and uh helping me  _

_ Tup’ika: Dogma,, and i,, were fucking around and dismantled a gun _

_ on the case: oh????? _

_ Tup’ika but now there’s a part of it stuck in my hair and we can’t get it out  _

_ Jesse: BDBDVSBDBDJD _

_ snitch: oh my god tup _

_ Tup’ika: I don’t want to cut it!!!! _

_ Captain ori’vod: I’m on my way, do Not touch your hair  _

_ Tup’ika: yes sir  _

_ on the case: Tup how do you even manage that _

_ Tup’ika: I’m still not sure :/ _

_ Tup’ika: I’m doing my best,, _

_ on the case: you’re doing great  _

_ Tup’ika: thanks ori’vod (*^ω^*) _

_ snitch: tup why don’t you love me like that  _

_ Tup’ika: because you’re a snitch (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`) _

_ on the case: that’s my vod’ika!  _

_ snitch: stop teaching Tup to be a little shit  _

_ Trouble 1: he’s part of torrent _

_ Trouble 1: being a shit is basically in the rule books  _

_ Tup’ika: oh Captain Rex is here! bye! _

_ on the case: see ya tup _

_ Jesse: good luck  _

_ on the case: I still find it slightly funny how easily Rex makes troopers cry whenever he’s nice to them  _

_ snitch: is this about the time Rex said you did a good job and you nearly blew yourself up _

_ on the case: FIVES SHUT UP CHALLENGE  _

_ snitch: no  _

_ on the case: bitch  _

_ snitch: jerk  _

_ trouble 1: ladies ladies,, you’re both pretty _

_ on the case: oh that reminds me  _

_ on the case: they/them pronouns today uwu  _

_ Kixy: say uwu one more time and I remove your spleen  _

_ on the case: HEBWVSBTFNGNTNRN _

_ snitch: KIX????? ARENT YLU ASLEEP?? _

_ Jesse: fucker woke up, typed that and immediately conked out again  _

_ Trouble 1: what a legend  _

_ Jesse: Kix stop sticking your cold feet on my mf legs challenge _

_ snitch: rip Jesse  _

_ Jesse: the things I do for this loser  _

_ snitch: you love it  _

_ Jesse: I will neither confirm nor deny  _

_ on the case: so I was taking apart this blaster bc I was bored but I got distracted and now I can’t remember how to put it back together oh god  _

_ snitch: hardcase-  _

_ on the case: oh nvm I had it upside down _

_ on the case: we r all good now  _

_ Trouble 1: does anybody in Torrent have braincells??? _

_ snitch: Captain does  _

_ Jesse: most of the time _

_ Trouble 1: Jesse! _

_ Jesse: what????? does nobody remember when he walked straight into a pole in front of him and then was like “why is there a pole there”  _

_ snitch: in fairness it was very dark _

_ Jesse: it was still hilarious _

_ snitch: it Really was  _

_ snitch: I wish I had of videoed it  _

_ Captain ori’vod: you would of been on fresher duty for the rest of your life  _

_ snitch: sir :((( _

_ Tup’ika: I’m free!!!! _

_ on the case: did you salvage your hair?? _

_ Tup’ika: yes!  _

_ Captain ori’vod: barely, you’re lucky I didn’t need to cut it out  _

_ snitch: OH NO  _

_ Captain ori’vod: maybe avoid putting objects in your hair next time _

_ Tup’ika: ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think I’m hilarious thank you   
> shoutout to crab & bean for giving me ideas (@￣ρ￣@)
> 
> come chat on tumblr!! (@forestgreengirl)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaos. That is all there is to it

_ Captain ori’vod: Hardcase. _

_ snitch: somebodies in troubleeeeeee  _

_ Captain ori’vod: Fives. _

_ snitch: oops _

_ on the case:,,,Yes sir? _

_ Captain ori’vod: do you want to explain why you started a brawl with the Wolfpack  _

_ on the case: not really- _

_ Captain ori’vod: what a shame. Start talking.  _

_ snitch: technically they started it  _

_ Captain ori’vod: it doesn’t surprise me but how? _

_ On the case: uh  _

_ On the case: we needed to prove that the 501st was better  _

_ Snitch: it was a matter of pride, sir  _

_ Captain ori’vod: Did you win?  _

_ On the case: n,,o  _

_ Captain ori’vod: that doesn't surprise me, I’ve only ever beaten Wolffe in a fight twice  _

_ Tup’ika: really?? _

_ Captain ori’vod: Yeah, Wolffe plays dirty _

_ On the case: yes he BIT me  _

_ Captain ori’vod: Yeah he does that, ask Cody about that bite mark on his leg one time  _

_ Trouble 1: Really????? _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Captain ori’vod: it happens  _

_ Jesse: tbt the time Kix stabbed me  _

_ Tup’ika: wha,, _

_ Snitch: WHAT?? _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Kixy: I did No such thing thanks  _

_ Jesse: Yes you krifing did  _

_ Jesse: I vividly remember it  _

_ Kixy: can’t remember, didn't happen _

_ On the case: why did he stab you???? _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Jesse: I don't know!!!!  _

_ Kixy: It’s because you wouldnt shut up  _

_ Kixy: I mean lol rip or whatever  _

_ On the case: hdhfhdhjdhfhhhfhf _

_ Captain ori’vod: somehow I’m not even surprised  _

_ Tup’ika: Dogma once hit me in the face with this thick book because I jump scared him _

_ On the case: JJJFJFHFHFHFH _

_ Snitch: oh my GODS  _

_ Snitch: tup I love you so much  _

_ Tup’ika: ily2  _

_ Trouble 1: fives why are you never nice to me like that _

_ Snitch: Echo ily  _

_ Trouble 1: ew  _

_ Snitch: yeah I wonder why  _

_ Jesse: damn rejected  _

_ Jesse: this is so sad, R2 play spacpacito _

_ Kixy: literally how am I related to you  _

_ Captain ori’vod: I ask myself that daily  _

_ Jesse: so rude, sir  _

_ Jesse: im used to it from Kix at this point  _

_ Jesse: he's always been a salty bastard  _

_ Kixy: xoxoxo  _

_ Echo: he needs to balance you out  _

_ Captain ori’vod: Like how Fives balances you out?  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Snitch: exactly  _

_ Echo: it's why we work together so well  _

_ snitch: get that soft shit Outta here  _

_ Tup’ika: I’m going to space dogma  _

_ trouble 1: why????? _

_ Kixy: do Not  _

_ Tup’ika: bitchass just pushed me off of the bed  _

_ Tup’ika: I cannot believe this disrespect  _

_ on the case: HSHSHSHSHDHD _

_ Trouble 1: wow, who would of thought Tup would be capable of this _

_ Tup’ika: ✌︎('ω'✌︎ ) _

_ On the case: its cute that you assume Tup wouldnt kill a man  _

_ Snitch: he's BABY wym  _

_   
_ _ Tup: yeah :((  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ On the case: I literally watched you help Echo mix chemicals to turn the captains hair blue  _

_ Captain ori’vod: what  _

_ Captain ori’vod: WHAT  _

_ Tup: HARDCASE  _

_ Trouble 1: hardcase you fucking whore  _

_ On the case: I regret nothing  _

_ Captain ori’vod: I expect this from echo?? But tup???  _

_ kixy : fives & echo tainted him  _

_ Snitch: I HAVENT DONE SHIT  _

_ Trouble 1: it was bound to happen sooner or later  _

_ Captain ori’vod: im not wrong  _

_ Snitch: you come into MY chilli’s, barbeque sauce on your titties, and disrespect MY valentino white bag? Fuck, I can’t believe you’ve done this. You’re disrespecting a republic army solider- I have the power of gods AND anime on my side  _

_ Kixy: please shut the kriff up  _

_ Trouble 1: did you  _

_ Trouble 1: did you just mash vines together  _

_ Trouble 1: you kriffing heathen  _

_ Snitch: perhaps  _

_ Captain ori’vod: wow, I think you might actually be worse than Wolffe  _

_ Captain ori’vod: I didn’t think that was possible honestly and yet- _

_ Snitch: thank you  _

_ Jesse: how long did it take you to come up with that  _

_ Snitch: longer than I will ever admit  _

_ Jesse: impressive  _

_ Kixy: no  _

_ Kixy: if you ever say that monstrosity to me outloud, I will space you  _

_ Jesse: :(( mean  _

_ Jesse: what else will I whisper to you before I die  _

_ Kixy: not fucking that  _

_ Kixy: and you’re not allowed to die, its against the law  _

_ Jesse: local medic fist fights gods to beat death  _

_ Kixy: and I’d do it again  _

_ Jesse: lovely, I look forward to it  _

_ On the case: does anyone else remember when somebody put weed in the vents and everyone was lowkey high all day  _

_ Kixy: we don't talk about that  _

_ Snitch: yeah I wonder who would do that sort of thing haha  _

_ Snitch: wild  _

_ Trouble 1: I wish you knew what subtlety was  _

_ Snitch: sounds like smth for losers lol  _

_ Captain ori’vod: Fives.  _

_ Snitch: yes sir?  _

_ Captain ori’vod: Is there something you want to tell me?  _

_ Snitch: no, sir  _

_ Jesse: damn, rest in peace Fives  _

_ Snitch: I can’t be killed in any way that matters  _

_ On the case: except for when sparring with the captain  _

_ Trouble 1: called out  _

_ Snitch: shut up echo  _

_ Snitch: you too hardcase  _

_ On the case: no<3  _

_ Kixy: captain, I really wish you didn't have the habit of just picking the troopers up and launching them  _

_ Kixy: I have had to bandage so many injuries  _

_ Snitch: are you thinking about the time Rex threw you, and you crashed into Jesse and had bruised ribs for days  _

_ Kixy: fives I will choke you out _

_ Kixy: be quiet  _

_ Snitch: uwu  _

_ Captain ori’vod: no  _

_ Captain ori’vod: this is an uwu and owo free zone  _

_ Captain ori’vod: I refuse to let another chat be contaminated with that  _

_ Tup’ika: uwu  _

_ Captain ori’vod: Tup,, no,, why  _

_ Snitch: uwu and owo fwee zowone  _

_ Captain ori’vod: I’m going to break your fingers  _

_ Snitch: bweak my fwingers  _

_ Trouble 1: I no longer know Fives?? Who’s he??  _

_ Kixy: one day you will be face-to-face with what saw fit to let you exist and you will have to justify the space you’ve filled  _

_ Snitch: weird way to talk about the long-necks exams but okay  _

_ Jesse: JDASKFHDSFLD  _

_ On the case: fives you are hilarious _

_ On the case: you too kix  _

_ Kixy: thanks I know xoxo  _

_ Snitch: hell yeah I am  _

_ Trouble 1: wow,, so humble,, amazing  _

_   
_ _ Snitch: you know it  _

_ Captain ori’vod: I should have left you on that street corner _

_ Snitch: butcha DIDN'T  _

_ Captain ori’vod: trust me, I’m regretting that 100%  _

_ Snitch: good, you should be  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This just gets crackier the more I write-   
> Alternative summary for this chapter was just “I quote shitposts shamelessly, and vines exist in sw universe bc fuck you that’s why” 
> 
> come send prompts on tumblr! (@forestgreengirl)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fox’s tits, and Cody’s calves are discussed. Rex needs a nap so badly. Tup accidentally sets their hair on fire, and Kix needs a holiday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nickname key:  
> Rex = Captain ori’vod   
> Kix = kixy   
> Jesse = Jesse   
> Echo = trouble 1   
> Fives = snitch   
> Hardcase = on the case   
> Tup = tup’ika

_ snitch: has anyone noticed commander Fox’s tits recently  _

_ tup’ika: what  _

_ kixy: shutting up is free  _

_ on the case: why are you thinking about this _

_ snitch: are you saying you Haven’t thought about Commander tits? _

_ kixy: I hope fox shoots you for that _

_ snitch: lmao he wouldn’t  _

_ tup’ika: stop it  _

_ tup’ika: get some help  _

_ Captain ori’vod: that is one of the worst things I’ve ever had to read _

_ Captain ori’vod; why would you make me think about my ori’vod and his tits  _

_ snitch: oh so you don’t want to think about it??? don’t want to think about echos thunder thighs??? _

_ trouble 1: 1. Don't bring me into this _

_ trouble 1: I do have very nice thighs  _

_ snitch: yes you do  _

_ Jesse: cody has sexy calves tho  _

_ Captain ori’vod: NO  _

_ Captain ori’vod: shut up goodbye  _

_ Jesse: Captain I’m sorry :(( _

_ kixy: No you’re not _

_ Jesse: no I’m really not _

_ Jesse: but it’s the thought that counts  _

_ snitch: Bly’s thicc ass  _

_ kixy: from the bottom of my heart, _

_ kixy: I hate your guts  _

_ snitch: no you don’t  _

_ Kixy: aight bet  _

_ tup’ika: disgusting _

_ tup’ika: the lot of you  _

_ on the case: tup I literally just heard you talk about Cody’s calves to Dogma who looked like he was about to cry like 20 mins ago _

_ on the case: Dogma just started looking more and more horrified as time went by  _

_ Captain ori’vod: WHAT  _

_ Captain ori’vod: I can't believe you would make me think about Cody like that _

_ Captain ori’vod: disgustang  _

_ tup’ika: I did no such thing (*´ω`*) _

_ trouble 1: he’s baby hardcase  _

_ trouble 1: he would never  _

_ on the case: like shit he is  _

_ on the case: have you ever met a kid?? feral _

_ snitch: have you?? _

_ Captain ori’vod: I had him watch a child once _

_ on the case: I did an excellent job  _

_ Captain ori’vod: you have the kid a fun _

_ on the case: a momentary lapse in judgment  _

_ on the case: anyway  _

_ on the case: tup is just as bad as the rest of y’all _

_ tup’ika: (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`) _

_ snitch: it’s true _

_ snitch: tup is a menace _

_ Captain ori’vod: I simply do not see  _

_ Captain ori’vod: tup is a delight and that is all thanks  _

_ Jesse: oh to see without my eyessss _

_ trouble 1: you’re awful  _

_ snitch: awfully cool _

_ trouble 1: awfully horny  _

_ snitch: due ass fuckers  _

_ snitch: *rude  _

_ snitch: don’t  _

_ Jesse: due  _

_ tup’ika: due _

_ kixy: due  _

_ trouble 1: due  _

_ Captain ori’vod: due _

_ snitch: CAPTAIN  _

_ snitch: hardcase please _

_ on the case: due  _

_ snitch: traitors, all of you  _

_ Captain ori’vod: Sure  _

_ on the case: Rex and Kix; the two pretty boys of the 501st _

_ on the tup: also tup  _

_ tup’ika: (๑╹ω╹๑ ) _

_ Captain ori’vod: I can still put you on toilet duty  _

_ on the case: you will still have to have read what I said  _

_ on the case: so who’s the real winner  _

_ Kixy: very interesting _

_ on the case: wha- _

_ Kixy: ;) _

_ trouble 1: Don’t Like That  _

_ _______ _

  
  


_ snitch: okay hold on everyone  _

_ snitch: very important thought  _

_ On the case: oh?? _

_ kixy: oh great  _

_ snitch: first of all: kix you’re a bitch _

_ kixy: xoxo  _

_ snitch: second of all  _

_ snitch: why the fuck _

_ snitch: is Kix known as the ‘pretty clone’ _

_ snitch: WE HAVE THE SAME FACE _

_ kixy: no we don’t  _

_ snitch: YES WE DO??? _

_ kixy: No  _

_ kixy: Your face is ugly and mine isn’t  _

_ Jesse: you’re so humble wow  _

_ on the case: SHHDHDHDHDJDJDHD _

_ snitch: YOU’RE SO RUDE  _

_ kixy: xoxo _

_ snitch: I’ve literally seen you eat bugs  _

_ snitch: you ain’t SHIT  _

_ kixy: I have never eaten a bug, get fucked  _

_ snitch: yes you have  _

_ snitch: I think we all have at some point _

_ Captain ori’vod: speak for yourself Fives  _

_ Captain ori’vod: I happen to have taste, and dignity  _

_ Trouble 1: I did watch Anakin goad you into eating a bug last mission  _

_ Captain ori’vod: You saw no such thing  _

_ Trouble 1: you can’t erase that it happened, sir  _

_ Captain ori’vod: don't remember didn't happen _

_ trouble 1: I could ask commander Cody  _

_ Captain ori’vod: he won’t tell you shit, I have blackmail on him too _

_ trouble 1: oh bet?  _

_ Jesse: hang on I do have a story about Kix as a cadet and bugs  _

_ snitch: oh?????? _

_ trouble 1: oh???? _

_ on the case: OH?? _

_ kixy: shut up jesse  _

_ Jesse: no  _

_ Jesse: so one time one of Kix’s batchmates was losing their mind over there being a bug on her bunk  _

_ Jesse: I think it actually might of been Kix that put it there _

_ snitch: HDHSHSHSHSHJDJD _

_ Jesse: anyway so one of Kix’s other batchmates just,,,, up and ate it  _

_ Jesse: kix wept for like 3 days  _

_ on the case: oh my GODS  _

_ trouble 1: I can picture it  _

_ Kixy: it was TRAUMATISING okay  _

_ Kixy: I heard it CRUNCH _

_ snitch: That explains so much _

_ Kixy: WYM  _

_ tup’ika: I ACCIDENTALLY DET MY HAIR ON FIR R _

_ tup’ika: gods it smells So bad what the KRIFF _

_ Captain ori’vod: TUP?? _

_ snitch: YOU W H A T _

_ kixy: little gods I hate this battalion  _

_ Jesse: no you don’t _

_ Jesse: tup are you alright?? _

_ tup’ika: yeah _

_ tup’ika: And yes my hair is chill, just gross and kinda crispy _

_ on the case: crispy hair  _

_ snitch: yummy  _

_ Captain ori’vod: Tup how did you set your hair on fire? _

_ tup’ika: I would prefer not to answer that sir  _

_ Captain ori’vod: Tup… _

_ tup’ika: sorry sir gotta go _

_ snitch: absolute king shit _

_ Captain ori’vod: don't encourage them _

_ snitch: you can’t stop me  _

_ Captain ori’vod: Oh? _

_ trouble 1: f in chat for fives  _

_ kixy: F _

_ Jesse: F _

_ on the case: F  _

_ tup’ika: F _

_ Captain ori’vod: So you Are here Tup _

_ tup’ika: who’s tup? _

_ tup’ika: my name is wig  _

_ snitch: WIGJFHSHDBDHDH _

_ tup’ika: goodbye  _

_ on the case: I’m so proud _

_ Captain ori’vod: sighs loudly  _

_ snitch: did you just,,,, type out sighs loudly  _

_ Captain ori’vod: So what if I did?  _

_ snitch: I’m shaming you  _

_ snitch: but like respectfully  _

_ Captain ori’vod: …. _

_ Jesse: why did I just hear Kix sigh Really loudly  _

_ Jesse: ah _

_ Jesse: yeah that makes sense  _

_ Jesse: he’s just staring at a wall, this man is Not okay _

_ Captain ori’vod: tell Kix I vibe w that  _

_ Jesse: he said to tell you thank you xoxo  _

_ Jesse: he actually said the xoxo out loud  _

_ on the case: icon  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope You enjoyed! Shoutout to some of my friends for some of the prompts for this-  
> The hair bit with tup was literally a convo I had after I accidentally lit a part of my hair on fire lmao 
> 
> feel free 2 send prompts on tumblr! (@forestgreengirl)


	5. Chapter 5

_ Snitch: :((  _

_ Snitch: go crazy aaaa go stupid  _

_ Snitch: la la la  _

_ Snitch: imagine if the ocean on this planet was filled with spoysters instead of water lmao  _

_ Captain ori’vod: I’d really prefer not to  _

_ Trouble 1: what  _

_ On the case: fives???? _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Kixy: please ignore him, he’s on very strong pain meds  _

_ Kixy: considering he fractured his COLLARBONE  _

_ Kixy: like an IDIOT  _

_ Snitch: don’t be MEAN to me :((((( _

_ Snitch: im fragile  _

_ Snitch: like a plum  _

_ Snitch: or a slug  _

_ Snitch: you be mean to be and I just. Squish  _

_ Kixy: I hope so  _

_ Trouble 1: thank u for that lovely example bro  _

_ Snitch: you’re welcome bro  _

_ Tup’ika: how did you break your collarbone?? _

_ Snitch: I fell off a wall lol  _

_ Jesse: h-how  _

_ Snitch: while we were,, temporarily blinded by the gas/dust  _

_ Snitch: I did not see how close we were to the edge yanno,,, _

_ Jesse: oh no  _

_ Snitch: and took one too many steps off and fell  _

_ Snitch: skywalker didn’t catch me in time rip _

_ Snitch: at least it was near the end of the battle !  _

_ Kixy: what is it with the 501st and fucking falling off of things  _

_ Trouble 1: if you rlly think about it, all the battalions have their own signif thing  _

_ On the case: like?? _

_ Trouble 1: like the wolfpack and their howl/the fact they keep biting people  _

_ On the case: yeah it fucking hurts _

_ Kixy: thats your own fault  _

_ On the case: thanks I love you too  _

_ Trouble 1: and the 212th and kicking/punching the droids  _

_ Kixy: please please don’t remind me, their medic has cried over that before  _

_ Captain ori’vod: oh no thats not something from the battalion, Cody has been doing that since we were cadets _

_ Jesse: wait really?? _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Captain ori’vod: Yep  _

_ Snitch: that explains So Much  _

_ Tup’ika: shhfhfhfhfhfhhf  _

  
  
  


_ ______ _ _   
  
_

_   
_ _ On the case:  _ **_@snitch_ ** _ bitch _ _   
_ _   
_ _ On the case: dude you are about to get it deadass _

_ Kixy: ugh. Wait you can’t do that,, he’s baby  _

_ Snitch: wait wait wait  _

_ On the case: what??  _ _   
  
_

_ Snitch: im baby :(( _

_ On the case: what  _

_ On the case: that doesn't mean shit  _

_ Kixy: ugh  _

_ Snitch: blease kix im begging  _

_ Kixy: then beg  _

_ Jesse: MAD LAD HE DID IT  _

_ Trouble 1: WOOO _

_ On the case: I really don’t care that you’re baby, I’ll break your fingers like twigs  _

_ Snitch: HDHFHFHHFHFHF _

_ Tup’ika: oh my gosh  _

_ Jesse: thats so violent wow  _

_ On the case: part of my charm  _

_ Snitch: then why don’t you have a girlfriend yet _

_ Snitch: or boyfriend  _

_ Jesse: because he's a coward  _

_ On the case: its because im not a real person yet :/// _

_ Kixy: well you’re not Wrong,, but you didn’t need to SAY it  _

_ Captain ori’vod: Fives, you’re benched for tomorrow's mission.  _

_ Snitch: b,because of my joke?? _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Captain ori’vod: no that was funny as fuck _

_ Captain ori’vod: you just have a broken collarbone :///// so  _

_ Trouble 1: sir are you worried Kix will kill you if you let Fives fight like that? _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Captain ori’vod: absolutely I am  _

_ Kixy: good  _

_ Kixy: you’re a really good captain, it would be a real shame if I had to kill you, yanno _

_ Snitch: isnt that treason  _

_ Kixy: only if im caught  _

_ Snitch: overthrow the government !!!  _

_ Tup’ika: ASAB.  _

_ Kixy: ASAB _

_ Captain Ori’vod: you’re absolutely correct Tup  _

_ Snitch: YEAHHHHHH  _

_ Snitch: thats very sexy cool of you tup  _

_ Tup’ika: thanks, I think  _

_ Kixy: I will now be taking Five’s phone off of him _

_ Snitch 1: NOOOOOO _

_ On the case: our amusement :(((  _

_ Captain ori’vod: please record all the bullshit he says _

_ Kixy: I hate you all but yes sir, will do  _

_ tup’ika: it’s that blackmail _

_ Captain ori’vod: yes it is, good job _

_ tup’ika: I- _

_ Jesse: absolute mad lad  _

  
  
  


_ ________ _ _   
_ _   
_ _   
  
_

_ Tup’ika: captain rex, sir _

_ Captain ori’vod: whats up  _

_ Tup’ika: I mean this in the best possible way but  _

_ Snitch: eyes  _

_ Jesse: eyes  _

_ On the case: eyes  _

_ Trouble 1: eyes  _

_ Tup’ika: but I think Commander Cody is planning to kidnap Dogma  _

_ Snitch: hfhghhggfhd WHAT  _

_ Captain ori’vod: god fucking dammit cody  _

_ Captain ori’vod: not again  _

_ Kixy: ….again???  _

_ Trouble 1: I’m scared yet intrigued  _

_ Captain ori’vod: cody has a weakness for smart tired assholes _

_ Snitch: that explains alot, sir  _

_ Jesse: speaking from experience? _ _   
  
_

_ On the case: HDHFHHF JESSE  _

_ Captain ori’vod: I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, trooper  _

_ Captain ori’vod: and Tup _

_ Tup’ika: yeah,,,? _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Captain ori’vod: good luck lmao theres only one person that can out stubborn cody now and it is Not me  _

_ Tup’ika: me, softly but with feeling; kriff  _

_ Snitch: JDHFDHFHFJHF tup I love u  _

_ Tup’ika: thanks <33  _

_ On the case: just for science,,, who’s the person who could out-stubborn Cody?  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Captain ori’vod: Jango Fett  _

_ Captain ori’vod: or Fox depending on the day  _

_ Snitch: as in the prime???? _

_ Trouble 1: wow  _

_ Captain ori’vod: yeah cody had 2 learn it from somewhere yanno  _

_ Kixy: I would like to say this surprises me, but it does not  _

_ Jesse: it never does  _

_ Captain ori’vod: rip Kix and the shit he's seen  _

_ Kixy: You’re not actually sorry are you? _

_ Captain ori’vod: no lmao its hilarious  _

_ Kixy: with all due respect, sir, you suck  _

_ Captain ori’vod: thanks kix  _

  
  


_ ______________ _

  
  
  


_ Jesse: are you okay  _ **_@captain ori’vod_ **

_ Captain ori’vod: yeah ofc why  _

_ Jesse: because I think you just fell asleep standing  _

_ Snitch: oooooooh _

_ Kixy: he What.  _

_ Captain ori’vod: I was resting my eyes thankyou _

_ Jesse: I straight up waved in your face and you didn’t even blink  _

_ Captain ori’vod: I was thinking real hard  _

_ Jesse: but-  _

_ Captain ori’vod: keep talking and you’re on fresher duty _

_ Jesse:...yes sir??  _

_ Kixy: good thing I fear nothing _

_ Kixy: sir, respectfully,  _

_ Snitch: he says, disrespectfully  _

_ Kixy: shut up fives _

_ Kixy: sir go to sleep  _

_ Captain ori’vod: im fine Kix, and I need to finish these reports _

_ Kixy: I will sedate you  _

_ Captain ori’vod: thats unethical  _

_ Kixy: not if its for your health  _

_ Captain ori’vod: I outrank you  _

_ Kixy: not when it comes to medical stuff  _

_ Kixy: go to sleep or I’m telling General Skywalker and he’ll look sad at you :/// or I’ll sedate you ig  _

_ Trouble 1: oh shit rip Rex  _

_ On the case: rip rex  _

_ Jesse: rip rex  _

_ Tup’ika: rip rex ;-; _

_ Captain ori’vod: Medics are evil </3  _

_ Kixy: thanks, sir  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> la la la
> 
> I have the Worst writers block rip
> 
> tumblr!: @forestgreengirl

**Author's Note:**

> wahoo!! I just need good clone bonding okay- I’m very emotional over them recently lmao 
> 
> come chat on tumblr! (@forestgreengirl)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Communications Line](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24780691) by [MageOfCole](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MageOfCole/pseuds/MageOfCole)
  * [RIP; Server Restart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24958729) by [TheStageManager](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStageManager/pseuds/TheStageManager)




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